The Manticore & The Psycho

You will never make it, not good enough, there's so many that can do what you do, so why do you bother to try? Understand this, they hate you, they will betray you, holding that power, why do you not use it? Dumb yourself down, make it easier to be around them, take the punishment of being too scared of your own mind. Did you know what you could do before this happened? Don't you get it? They all wait for you to fall again, every time you have a single good point in life, they find ways to make you suffer, they break your bones, shattered your mind, but for whatever reason, you fought back, but that's ending, you're ending, there's a million reasons to surrender to the thought of giving in, become the one marked with sins and let go of your determination of staying alive, consequences? Why should we fear those? We're one and the same, consequences? Why should we fear those? We're one and the same, all your thoughts and emotions are mine, so why not just let me take control of you, that doubt of yours is your undoing, it's sad to see that you try to fight back, when all they see is the split image of the one person you hate the most.
I hate your very existence, I do what's best for me, I can't believe that it's meant to be, if they want to draw a line between that one and me, then I'll just have to be different from their belief, I'm not obsessive enough, fighting back against life and the terror I still see before me, the things I've done, they will always haunt me, but I'm not going to become like them. Weapon in hand, I go through the thoughts the only way I know how to, I fight, I bleed and I make sure you can't come back into my mind, my life has been hell, I have fought in a war that never ended, but I never shut up, I'm just like a soldier, I have to keep fighting to stop myself from crumbling, this place isn't big enough to share, I'm never going to surrender to your thoughts, I've won the other conflicts, I'm surely going to beat you. I won and took what was mine, so why don't you sit back and watch what I can do? I won't second guess it, I hate the negativity that you try to enforce onto my thoughts, I will never be like them, if you can't handle me when I'm fighting back, then you should get the hell out of this place, because I have no time to be depressed, I won't doubt myself anymore, I don't need your words. Stop me from being who I am? You won't get close enough, my war is eternal, the darkness is stronger, but I stand strong in a single little light, but the moment it goes dark, you will fall, so pray that your ammunition is endless, because the moment you stop firing, I'll have your head.

I swear, I've had it with everyone doubting me, I'm going to design my future, take the broken pieces and repair it to my best ability, you can't come and tell me that I'm too different, you can't come and put your ideas over my understanding, I've fought this war, you weren't even aware of it, so stop for a second, read it all the way through, I'm not going to be your slave, I won't be controlled, I will never be destroyed. The conflict running through my veins stopped the second I had an external threat, so just watch me do what I want to. Life had hit me hard, it tore me apart, it hated what I was, but I refused to become what it wanted me to be. My deepest thoughts are darker than your darkness, your idea of evil sides is outdated, I'm not truly evil, I'm just pragmatic about the situation, ask me how I am doing, I'm doing awesome, you can't force me into this conversation, one thing people tell me, friend or enemy, I'm one of a kind, mixed in with mental collapses and bloodshedding thoughts, blood on my hands, but that just makes me smile, I've never taken a life, because I never had to, breaking them down to the point where they couldn't stand up was all I needed, now I hold the key to the door, back to the vault I go, the words I whisper to myself is not for you to hear, but I can say it loudly again, because it's so very simple! Welcome back Alpha, we got work to do.

Always did what I had to do, there was no other way around it, so if I must take up these weapons, I'll do so, you can flash the power you got from your problem, you did it to yourself, but you didn't know what that meant, there's a monster in front of me, I made the mistake to get you interested in something, but maybe it's time I showed you what a well developed mental problem can do? You took a name, a name that spread fear in those who you talk to, you are a Manticore, but I'm a night wolf and a psychotic one at that, so, let me show you what a bad time will be? Our fight is simple, our war is easily solved, one must bow, for the other one to win, quantity against quality, each of my weapons are well made, crafted through the fires of the mental war, yours might be many, but let me tell you my friend, I'm going to show you what insanity means in a mental war, so let's not beat around the bush anymore, I've gotten real tired of your existence, so let me solve your many problems by reducing what you can do. It's not like either of us got anything to lose from this, because what we lose, we can rebuild, but I won't be losing, because those titanium walls are back up and now you will feel the pain.

The Last of It

If I had a second to stop and listening to you, I'd probably have died from the waste of time that it would require, you have nothing that interests me, your words are empty, forgotten threats, you have taken aim again, I'll be in your sights, will you pull the trigger, end my life? I've been to hell and back, fought my way through the demonic realm that is my own nightmares, never did I think you would try to get under my skin, but I found my way into your mind, broke that barrier, cut my way through your thoughts, you can't get me out of there, I've really found a way to infect your actions, predict your movements, I'm hunting down your ideas, now prepare for battle, because this will be a massive war. Never did you think that I could get this far, my defeat was what you had foreseen, now here I stand, you can't shake the feeling, what is that thing following me? Walk right through the hell you send, force my mind through another flashback, the blood paints the walls, the death of the mind.

I awoke to a catastrophe, the end of an era, I fought my way to the beginning, finding myself all alone. You had them all backing you, tore down my self-esteem, brought me to my knees, ready to face the judgement they would pass on me, the suffering of my mind was their goal, but I couldn't let it happen, I wouldn't take the blame, so to win this war, I had to become the very thing I sought to destroy, so I took aim, pulled the trigger and the war reignited, I wore my colours with pride, anger in your eyes when I rejected your truth. I found my way, I worked it all out, the end of my peaceful life had come. From the start of this hell, to the reaches of the conflict, through your territory, I stopped myself from doing what you did, but you bragged on about what you would do to them, so I couldn't help it, you could be evil, you can be the worst person on the planet, but with sheer determination, you will never beat me. We had a connection, we used to be friends, brothers in arms in a conflict started by him, but it never got old, you were satisfied when I didn't see what you did to them, but now I know, it's not what it seemed to be, you did it all, because you could.

They are nothing more than weak trash for you, they couldn't stand against you, because you were steps ahead of them, they tried to get away from you, but you could stop them, brought an end to their thoughts, you called it ending their suffering, but you didn't see it when the scythe of my actions came out of the darkness and struck you down. Now you should see what I want from you, I don't care if you give up, the hatred I feel now, isn't just for show. I must make sure to be careful, so that I don't disrupt my current life, but I can't let you go free, you will not be allowed to walk away from this, years have gone by, I've taken much from you, but I really can't let you stand tall, I will cut you down and make you bleed, all those secrets you keep will be mine, I want my answers, I want to know, what did you do to make this all happen? Make a move, let me see just how determined you are, because I don't care for the consequences as long as I end you, Two, Zero, One, Eight. Those are the numbers for you to memorize, how long has it been now?

Back to the start, where we fought at first, our differences are shown, one is lost and one is fallen, who is who? Riding down the remains of our conflict, we try finding ourselves in the shattered history, but we can't go on, now we stand here, the last seconds of our conflict, this is our last chance for contact, Two, Zero, One, Eight. Can you hear them through the darkness left by our war? The end will come swiftly, no more reasons for you to stand up, the devil that you claimed to be, now I've taken your empire. One of us was forgotten and the other one is evil, we've reached the end now, nobody is listening to us and this is the final chapter of the longest running external conflict in my life.

I found myself alone in the dark once, my days counting down, if you saw what I saw, would you still try to understand me or would you pass your judgement? It was easy at first, a life with no consequence, we battled across our world's reach, I found myself in the mud, blood running down my face, no pain in my eyes, nothing to gain from it, I held onto a lifestyle of failure, because I had failed them all. Like a lonely whisper in the wind, I couldn't go on being who I am, like jekyll and Hyde, I changed, ask yourselves, who am I at night? Am I a broken man or something else.

We saw each other across the no man's land, gun in hand, anger in our eyes, I did my best, but it wasn't enough to save them from you, will I always fight a losing battle in this war? Will you remind me of my failure? I tried so hard to care for you, but in the end, you made the fatal error of bragging about what you did, anger overflowing, I had enough, my last effort would be your downfall.

Our war escalated and we pulled everyone in to our war, how I wish I could have seen it coming, but I could never have predicted that by opposing you, I had given up on my humanity and made myself worse than you. Where did I find myself? I saw myself standing on a field, blackened eyes and a knife in my hand, an arrow in your shoulder, fear in your eyes and blood pouring everywhere, I knew it then, your fatal error of looking at me with arrogant eyes had bought you a ticket to hell.

How you smile now, knowing I have to live with my own past, never being able to tell my story, or so you think, will I always fight an endless war with you or will I move on? I never was a hero, but I could never be the villain either, I lost my humanity for the right cause, I would do it again if I could, because opposing you is what was required of me. My only path forward was a cursed one, my corrupted heart was all that was beating when I lost my final line of defence.

I am not perfect, I never meant for this to happen, I brought an end to the one that changed who I used to be, he is leaving now, I can feel myself change on the spot, to go back to being Hyde, in a manner of speaking, never cared to be perfect, I just wanted you to fall and me to win no matter the cost, the reason for this was you.

Remember when you began to wake up, the fear you felt, the friendship was dying down, I held the key and lost it, the end came swiftly, your puppets fell down, you walked into my trap, you thought you knew me, you wouldn't make that mistake twice, because you wouldn't get your second chance to learn who I am, in the night, I come out, you were used to me being crazy, but this caught you unaware and I had become infected with dark thoughts, so I took what I wanted and left the rest.

We all went to hell, we had no choices, but I wore the sins better than you did, I never cared enough for your suffering, we had become rotten and evil, you didn't think about it and continued on your path, now after life kicked me down, I became stronger than you and I shattered your mind when you made your threat towards me... We all would die painfully

Clever lies and empty threats, that is how you got along, avoiding responsibility was what you would do, but you did not see me coming around for another pass. You called me weak, you called me a freak, clearly you would know, I am the anomaly they never could see, but your view of me must have been distorted when I came back, I see it in your eyes, your lies will not save you this time. I took the blame, I watched you move through it all, smiling as my sanity went down, no light would reach me, I was all alone..

Yet, one second was all I needed to get back up again, your army is gone, there's no one left to believe you or to come to your rescue, it's all over. You hated me with good reason, because you see, everything you did to me, I did better towards you, attrition was my game and you fell into the trap and it was all I needed to get back to full power. What have we done? What did they create? All those mind games and this is what it led to? My victory was assured and like the quote would go... Ad Victoriam.

There's no darkness, there's no chaos left to guide my way, I am recovering slowly, but I am getting back up on my feet, but you decide that some things are worth destroying, you force the twisted side out, the insanity wasn't enough for you, I held you high and you proved me wrong, we're both of the same coin, yet we are not, there's thoughts of murder in your eyes, but you can't get what you really want, so now you turned them on me, severed the connection between them and me, I am recovering myself, then you brought me into your conflict. The words you speak, meant to twist the world around us, you can't handle different thoughts, you hate different views, the defiance is what you seek to destroy, you've made sure that I am on my own again, the madness is stronger than you believe. You want a last war, a conflict to end all conflicts, I have returned to holding my insanity and wielding my determination, four years, I've been gone, now I am back, to end your life. Our friendship was never meant to be, we are the worst of enemies, you brought me into this war, despite me saying no, now you wonder, why am I fighting so hard? I struck into the hearts of those you sent to bother me, a threat towards me, that was paid with their defeat, you want me to crumble again, but I'm getting stronger, I'm standing against your words of hatred, I have the capabilities of being the coldest person and drag it out, but I want a quick out, so I'm bringing you down. You asked what I stand for, I answered that I stand for madness, the words you try to speak, is never heard, the silence kills you slowly. You tried your chances and embraced your own insanity, but you forced yourself too far, now you can't tell the difference between reality and your own mind, you're losing control, you want to be the one to stand above all others, but you've lost your ground, you wanted to be like me, but you lacked the qualities I have. In your attempts to be the good one, you turned into a bad guy, you lost your own thoughts, I saw your eyes, they scream of murder, you want to know how it feels to be the one that toys with the victims. We stood side by side, we opposed all others, but somewhere, you lost your own way, now you drag me into a war that will be over quickly, there's madness, then there's insanity, you tried and tried, never could you beat me, now you use all your tools and attacked, yet I'm still standing. You tried to be the one that you couldn't be, you hoped we would be the same, but the cracks in your armour weren't as strong as mine, every word became poison for you, losing ground, in your own mind. If I had known about your collapse, then I would have tried to help you, but you didn't want my help, you want me gone, we are no longer similar, we are each others worst enemy. One is a twisted mind with the psychotic tendencies, all is under control, I wield my madness in ways you can't understand, the other is insanity, broken smiles and a deep hatred, you've mixed it all, you didn't become one with your madness, you lost your own emotions, now you wish to be a cannibal, your jokes sound more like threats. We once stood for others rights to be themselves, now you've destroyed all we built up, I tried to keep you alive, but you threw it all away, just so you could drive yourself mad. 

I look at you, a shadow of what you used to be, I had no choice when I collapsed, you had it all in front of you, but you gave up, I remember your smile and how you laughed, it always kept my spirit up, the thought of one of us is alright, was enough for me, now you are forcing my hand, I try to avoid to fight you, I don't want to bring you harm, I let you throw the first punch, I let you throw a second, each time I've dodged you, I wish we could go back to how we used to be, the best of friends, but so much have happened and now there's nothing left of either. I was so sure that you'd go past me, smiling and laughing, your eyes showing happiness, but what I see, is a dark natured person, whose only wish is to inflict harm on others, you sent them all against me, spread lies about me, you broke everything we had built up, but I still hope that there's something left of you inside, but the way you're acting, I only see anger and hatred as you scream at me. I look at you as you destroy yet another thing, they are not people to you, they've become your toys, all of this is twisted, another sickened look from you, tells me that you've lost yourself, it might pass years before you come back, I'm hoping that you won't hate yourself, I want you to know, that I will never turn this against you, against all reason, I still see something good in you, but you've forsaken me, I'm hoping that you won't go too far and return to who you were, because this world doesn't need two people that have fallen from grace... This world needs at least one who can rise back to power and find a reason to help others, because there's no way that both of us will stand up and laugh over this, I regret not being there for you, I'm sorry I didn't see how lost you were, but you should have understood that I was gone at the time. 

There was a time when my mind was alright, when the cracks in the walls weren't there, but that time is long gone, what you see now is what it is, the cracks have broken apart the walls and made them crumbled down, I no longer wonder how or why this happened, I've fought it at every turn, now I know it's all because of you, the devil in disguise, who met death that fateful day, we both escaped with scars, but while I was burning down, you took your chance to corrupt my mind, you thought me to be an easy target and now you're the one being the target. We saw each other miles away, we knew we would clash one day and now when the skeletons in my closet have made me realize it, then there's no more tolerance to show you, no more compassion for your strife, I've been beaten and broken by life all around me, but I am still standing. There's no way out for you, you dug your grave and now you are being buried by your own lies, I'm the one who is getting away with this, the one you tricked and had beaten, now I stand above you smiling, I am caught in the never ending cycle of self destruction, you were the clever liar, you tricked us all for your own gain and now you've screwed up and find yourself regretting it, there's only us left now, you and me, all the others have faded with time, all because of your actions, don't you ever complain to me about it, while you decided to run away, I We were the ones who fought the chaos you released by running, now I am the last one left and you only blame me. You must have thought that I was weaker than you, but I stood strong, my mind is broken and my heart is scarred, but I'm still standing above you, the tolerance for you is all gone though, I will destroy you and take away what you earned by running, the only true traitor was you. You thought it to be easy, you took all the shortcuts there was, while I watched them all fade away from my view, the pain was too much, but I still found a way to fight and now I am here, I may be broken and hated, I no longer care, I am the one who is still standing.
You came back expecting us to still be there, when you found the two remaining, your fear turned to hatred, I wasn't supposed to still be here, you expected me to be gone, yet there I was, broken and beaten, but still standing. The trio undefeated reunited, fighting alongside each other, all odds against us, but somewhere this went wrong, the trio was shattered, our battles weren't over, now we had to destroy each other and you threw the first stone, you tried to manipulate us, to get what you wanted, but this ended with a meltdown and many still say that out of the three of us, I did the right thing, but after such a conflict, it felt so wrong, to be the one to stand, while our friend faded away and now that I know you had a thing to do with it, I can't accept you as human, the trio had died, the devil in disguise and the psycho still stands, I have lost more than enough, but you find ways to lose more, both stubborn like mules, none willing to stand down, so I took my chance and brought it to an end, the chaos stopped and they all went silent, now we stand in a world dark as night and no sound left for us to hear, the only thing is the crack between us, the two remaining of a whole group of friends and the words ring through my head, I'm the one marked with the scenes of their passings, while you smile about your ability to shut off emotions, so I suppose this is what we see, the devil and psycho, stuck in a war, we will never be able to stand each other, I will always be there to stop you, because I am the one with a broken mind and a heart that refuses to back down, nobody can conquer my mind, but I am the one marked for something else.

Words spoken to me, I never meant for it to get this far, so now I'm saying no to the past, I never rested, it would haunt me, but now I speak the words I want to speak, no, I'm not going to regret anymore, I made my mistakes, but now I must repair it, your best option is to leave me alone, because there's no guilt left for things I couldn't stop, broken and scarred no longer, another word of hatred, I was brought to the end of the line, the price of my silence, was too much, I'm never giving up my voice, because I will speak against you, my words are my weapons, I can always find more ammunition, the more I speak, the less you affect me, if you knew I used to be silent, you'd probably be more surprised. Hate me if you want to, I don't need you to like me, your kind is a scourge, I stand against those that bothers me, doesn't matter to me if you had a bad childhood, if we start letting things pass because of your background, then maybe I should be allowed to annihilate those who hurt me? Fought my way through the hell I called my life, but for me it was just another day of misery, if you put yourself above others, lowering their worth to make yourself feel better, be prepared for the incidents that follows, because I will put you down, I'll use nothing more than words, no need for violence until you make it an issue for you to fight for your right to be more worth, before you'll know it, you will be alone, maybe you like that? My emotional state was unstable, my mindset was to destroy all my problems, but, now I realize that it's more than that, brought death to my mind, I ended up insane, then I thought became white noise, distorted, at the end of the day, my insanity isn't your typical insanity, it's my sanity, that you'd call insane. Freedom is back as the mindset of this once broken human being, I don't know what these words are trying to say, but I'm free from the corruption of those who sought to destroy me.