Proud

I walked through the hallways at my work, signing what I needed to sign, to show that I had done my job, the clock struck 3 am, I was all alone, the humid air in the building was all I had, then at a window, I saw a man. He looked old and gray, his coat looked so heavy, I had to go there, because some of my work was there, I walked past him, nodded a hello and put my hand on a door, when he spoke to me, his voice was soft and his word rang in my head, ''it's a fine night, wouldn't you say?''. I stopped to those words, smiled to him and agreed, he asked if I had time to talk, since there wasn't many there for him to talk to, I glanced at the paper on the wall and then back to him, gave him a gentle nod and walked over, the man looked content while observing a plane outside, he asked me a question, ''What is your name?'', it was a strange question to me, my badge had my name, but I still answered, he just smiled at me again and looked out again, nothing seemed to bother him, so we started talking, minutes passed by, laughing and talking about how things were different from his time, I listened to him talk about all things, felt a warmth in my formerly frozen heart, I couldn't place it, but I felt like I had met him before. Then the clock struck 4 am and I sighed to myself, I said I had to go, I had things to sign, but I asked him if he'd still be there once I got back, he nodded and said ''I got all the time in the world.'' I nodded and walked off, repeated my nightly cycle, thinking about the man standing there at the window, intrigued by how he spoke and once I got back, he was still standing at the same spot. I quickly signed the paper and walked over, he looked at me with a smile, ''you are true to your words, kid.'' I nodded and looked out the window myself, said the words that kept ringing for me. ''This is how I was raised to be, I denied this for too long, duty comes first, but nothing wrong with talking to people'', my words freed me from my thoughts, but the man chuckled at what I said, a warm smile on his face, he placed his hand on my shoulder and said to me, ''Son, you sure are different from what they all say, you hold such values, despite what you've been through, I'm here to tell you that your father is proud of the man you've become. It's nice to see that despite it all, you are building a new life, I'm sure it was hard for you, but you never gave up, so keep on doing what you are doing and never forget your roots, because the world lacks the people that are willing to be like you.'' I listened to his words, stumbling back on the mentioning of my father, I had said nothing about it, how could he know? His smile still felt warm as he let go of my shoulder, a tear rolled down my chin and I knew that this wasn't a normal encounter, he looked at the time and chuckled once more. ''I'm sorry to cut this short, but I must go, remember that it's all a matter of perspective, but you have done good despite how you've suffered at the hands of others, so take care now, keep being who you are, that's what you do best.'' He shook my hand and started walking off, I asked what his name is, remembering I had forgotten to ask, but he just smiled to me and held his finger to his mouth and walked out to the hallway, I ran after, full of questions, but I saw nothing out there, I only saw my co-workers arrive from the elevator, it sure felt a bit weird, but the warmth in my heart spread to the rest of my body, suddenly I smiled, knowing that it was alright, I had those words, repeating in my mind, I felt watched and I turned around and what I felt was the same warmth walk past me, it was nice to know, that I'm not alone.

FEAR

I've never feared you, never had a reason to worry, I only feel my burning hatred for you, they tell me to stop, they beg me to finish what I am doing, but it will end, when you lie on the floor, bleeding those secrets you've kept from me, that fear in your eyes, you took the name of terror, hoping I wouldn't notice, but I brought the bringer of death to its knees, you're the same as it. There's no reason for me to care for you, keep waving that white flag, it won't do you any good, but you got the deceiver protecting you, a great monster that roars at me, such a pity, I am all that I will ever be, the one marked with the sins of my past, go ahead and try to test my resolve, I do this because I have to, I had a choice and I made my decision, it's time to end your suffering. Great manipulations and bloody tracks, I thought you had the answers, but your lies no longer work here, broken bodies and shattered minds, this must be a nightmare for you, I've taken two steps forward, you took eight back.

Oh, how you hoped that it would end, but I have been given free reign, to hunt you down and make you stop in your little game, I never played by your rules, I bow to no one, my influence in this realm is beyond yours, such a pity too, I almost enjoyed this hunt, but now it ends. The destruction caused by my actions, smells so sweet, the sound of you drawing your final breath, amazing, I have stepped over your broken body, absorbed your willpower, become one with the one marked, nothing you did could save you, but what is this feeling? It wasn't me, you feared? It grips my heart, make my blood run cold, what are you? Turn my head to the side, at the corner of my eye, there he stands, the colours are all wrong? Black, red and yellow? What is this? That smile, I recognize it, but it can't be true, you are not real, grit my teeth and draw my weapon, I won't be taken down, I have come this far, one swift gesture and my hair stand up, why now?!

That grin, it feels unreal, you can't do this, you can't keep cheating the destruction, we are one and we all abide by those rules, it's not fair if you can break them, that emblem on your shoulder, the past was supposed to be forgotten, I will show you to the door, your time should have ended by now, this dream is mine to conquer, this mind is mine to control! I am the one marked with your sins, I will never ever bow to you. Pull the trigger, in the blink of an eye, you stand in front of me, that wicked grin, those crazy eyes, why won't you disappear? I'm not ready, this can't be what happens, I hunted them all, one by one, to take the crown you once had, but those eyes, it can't be happening.

Your vision is clouded, the one marked by the sins of the past, you are my instrument, my weapon of war, you shouldn't be out here all alone, it's best for you to come back, be part of my arsenal again, piece by piece, I repair my damaged mind, those eyes of yours, they sing of fear, from hunter to hunted, welcome back to the unity of a mind once broken, your weapon has fallen to the ground, broken, I thank you for your hard work, now you can rest again, no need to trouble a piece with the burden of being in control, I didn't know what was going on in here, going through those memories, really put me on edge, I feel so much better, knowing you will never return, but I will never forget the fear in your eyes, when I took what was mine, but I know you felt forsaken, but you had been corrupted, seeking solitude, but I have the memory now and that is the key to winning this war, the alpha, it was just a kid, scared of the falling mind, begging for someone to help it, but you all just wanted to control it, so you locked it in there, it wanted to come out, but you barred the door, then came the wolf of the night, with those psychotic eyes, I've cheated the game so many times, I'll get what I want in the end. 

I am looking for the one who holds that scythe, but it belongs to the mind of a psycho, I'm the night wolf, breaking through the barriers and tearing out your throat, protecting what needed protection, I wield those weapons so well, one piece, two pieces, it matters not, I will take it all back. Forming in the back of the mind, the grin of a freak, hated by everyone, is that your name? The Anomaly that everyone couldn't understand? Well, you'll learn to fear me too, because I play by my own rules, I will never be the one giving up, is my insanity worse than my predecessor? Who knows? I know one thing, I'm going to bring you down, wield your weapons, sharpen your knives, I don't need to worry, because with the memory I have, I can overcome any obstacle, now, why don't you just admit it, the fear you feel, comes from not understanding me and don't you worry, I do enjoy the thought of a total victory. 

The Manticore & The Psycho

You will never make it, not good enough, there's so many that can do what you do, so why do you bother to try? Understand this, they hate you, they will betray you, holding that power, why do you not use it? Dumb yourself down, make it easier to be around them, take the punishment of being too scared of your own mind. Did you know what you could do before this happened? Don't you get it? They all wait for you to fall again, every time you have a single good point in life, they find ways to make you suffer, they break your bones, shattered your mind, but for whatever reason, you fought back, but that's ending, you're ending, there's a million reasons to surrender to the thought of giving in, become the one marked with sins and let go of your determination of staying alive, consequences? Why should we fear those? We're one and the same, consequences? Why should we fear those? We're one and the same, all your thoughts and emotions are mine, so why not just let me take control of you, that doubt of yours is your undoing, it's sad to see that you try to fight back, when all they see is the split image of the one person you hate the most.
I hate your very existence, I do what's best for me, I can't believe that it's meant to be, if they want to draw a line between that one and me, then I'll just have to be different from their belief, I'm not obsessive enough, fighting back against life and the terror I still see before me, the things I've done, they will always haunt me, but I'm not going to become like them. Weapon in hand, I go through the thoughts the only way I know how to, I fight, I bleed and I make sure you can't come back into my mind, my life has been hell, I have fought in a war that never ended, but I never shut up, I'm just like a soldier, I have to keep fighting to stop myself from crumbling, this place isn't big enough to share, I'm never going to surrender to your thoughts, I've won the other conflicts, I'm surely going to beat you. I won and took what was mine, so why don't you sit back and watch what I can do? I won't second guess it, I hate the negativity that you try to enforce onto my thoughts, I will never be like them, if you can't handle me when I'm fighting back, then you should get the hell out of this place, because I have no time to be depressed, I won't doubt myself anymore, I don't need your words. Stop me from being who I am? You won't get close enough, my war is eternal, the darkness is stronger, but I stand strong in a single little light, but the moment it goes dark, you will fall, so pray that your ammunition is endless, because the moment you stop firing, I'll have your head.

I swear, I've had it with everyone doubting me, I'm going to design my future, take the broken pieces and repair it to my best ability, you can't come and tell me that I'm too different, you can't come and put your ideas over my understanding, I've fought this war, you weren't even aware of it, so stop for a second, read it all the way through, I'm not going to be your slave, I won't be controlled, I will never be destroyed. The conflict running through my veins stopped the second I had an external threat, so just watch me do what I want to. Life had hit me hard, it tore me apart, it hated what I was, but I refused to become what it wanted me to be. My deepest thoughts are darker than your darkness, your idea of evil sides is outdated, I'm not truly evil, I'm just pragmatic about the situation, ask me how I am doing, I'm doing awesome, you can't force me into this conversation, one thing people tell me, friend or enemy, I'm one of a kind, mixed in with mental collapses and bloodshedding thoughts, blood on my hands, but that just makes me smile, I've never taken a life, because I never had to, breaking them down to the point where they couldn't stand up was all I needed, now I hold the key to the door, back to the vault I go, the words I whisper to myself is not for you to hear, but I can say it loudly again, because it's so very simple! Welcome back Alpha, we got work to do.

Always did what I had to do, there was no other way around it, so if I must take up these weapons, I'll do so, you can flash the power you got from your problem, you did it to yourself, but you didn't know what that meant, there's a monster in front of me, I made the mistake to get you interested in something, but maybe it's time I showed you what a well developed mental problem can do? You took a name, a name that spread fear in those who you talk to, you are a Manticore, but I'm a night wolf and a psychotic one at that, so, let me show you what a bad time will be? Our fight is simple, our war is easily solved, one must bow, for the other one to win, quantity against quality, each of my weapons are well made, crafted through the fires of the mental war, yours might be many, but let me tell you my friend, I'm going to show you what insanity means in a mental war, so let's not beat around the bush anymore, I've gotten real tired of your existence, so let me solve your many problems by reducing what you can do. It's not like either of us got anything to lose from this, because what we lose, we can rebuild, but I won't be losing, because those titanium walls are back up and now you will feel the pain.

The Last of It

If I had a second to stop and listening to you, I'd probably have died from the waste of time that it would require, you have nothing that interests me, your words are empty, forgotten threats, you have taken aim again, I'll be in your sights, will you pull the trigger, end my life? I've been to hell and back, fought my way through the demonic realm that is my own nightmares, never did I think you would try to get under my skin, but I found my way into your mind, broke that barrier, cut my way through your thoughts, you can't get me out of there, I've really found a way to infect your actions, predict your movements, I'm hunting down your ideas, now prepare for battle, because this will be a massive war. Never did you think that I could get this far, my defeat was what you had foreseen, now here I stand, you can't shake the feeling, what is that thing following me? Walk right through the hell you send, force my mind through another flashback, the blood paints the walls, the death of the mind.

I awoke to a catastrophe, the end of an era, I fought my way to the beginning, finding myself all alone. You had them all backing you, tore down my self-esteem, brought me to my knees, ready to face the judgement they would pass on me, the suffering of my mind was their goal, but I couldn't let it happen, I wouldn't take the blame, so to win this war, I had to become the very thing I sought to destroy, so I took aim, pulled the trigger and the war reignited, I wore my colours with pride, anger in your eyes when I rejected your truth. I found my way, I worked it all out, the end of my peaceful life had come. From the start of this hell, to the reaches of the conflict, through your territory, I stopped myself from doing what you did, but you bragged on about what you would do to them, so I couldn't help it, you could be evil, you can be the worst person on the planet, but with sheer determination, you will never beat me. We had a connection, we used to be friends, brothers in arms in a conflict started by him, but it never got old, you were satisfied when I didn't see what you did to them, but now I know, it's not what it seemed to be, you did it all, because you could.

They are nothing more than weak trash for you, they couldn't stand against you, because you were steps ahead of them, they tried to get away from you, but you could stop them, brought an end to their thoughts, you called it ending their suffering, but you didn't see it when the scythe of my actions came out of the darkness and struck you down. Now you should see what I want from you, I don't care if you give up, the hatred I feel now, isn't just for show. I must make sure to be careful, so that I don't disrupt my current life, but I can't let you go free, you will not be allowed to walk away from this, years have gone by, I've taken much from you, but I really can't let you stand tall, I will cut you down and make you bleed, all those secrets you keep will be mine, I want my answers, I want to know, what did you do to make this all happen? Make a move, let me see just how determined you are, because I don't care for the consequences as long as I end you, Two, Zero, One, Eight. Those are the numbers for you to memorize, how long has it been now?

Back to the start, where we fought at first, our differences are shown, one is lost and one is fallen, who is who? Riding down the remains of our conflict, we try finding ourselves in the shattered history, but we can't go on, now we stand here, the last seconds of our conflict, this is our last chance for contact, Two, Zero, One, Eight. Can you hear them through the darkness left by our war? The end will come swiftly, no more reasons for you to stand up, the devil that you claimed to be, now I've taken your empire. One of us was forgotten and the other one is evil, we've reached the end now, nobody is listening to us and this is the final chapter of the longest running external conflict in my life.

Do not cross the line, I never let you get through, I have fought for many years, forever locked in war, our losses has been many, our conflict never stopped us from doing what we did, in my opinion, I was the better of the two, did you get your satisfaction when doing what you did?

You got the role perfectly, it was all in your mind, we had become targets for your pawns, you told them to make me suffer, all you wanted was for me to did, but I refused to be destroyed, so I saw to it, brought it on myself, traded my humanity for the hatred I needed to break you. It was a nightmare, when they told me what had happened so I was alone again and you had your army ready to end me.

You locked me down, broke my lines and destroyed my sanity, it all went down in flames, now you heard I had become weaker, time to make a move again, but you are late, save your threats, I fear nothing that you can do to me, welcome back to my demonic ruled hell, no saints can be found here, that throne is mine, the one that you are looking for now.

I see your army again, I got no plan and no back up, I really want this nightmare to end, but I know that it can only end with one of us never standing up again. Fragments of every kind, you saw what I did to the first, second and last, the end to your beginning, after seeing the injustice that roams around, I have come back to stop this collapsing, so we had one light left, but wait, it is not mine? It is an external source..

I found myself alone in the dark once, my days counting down, if you saw what I saw, would you still try to understand me or would you pass your judgement? It was easy at first, a life with no consequence, we battled across our world's reach, I found myself in the mud, blood running down my face, no pain in my eyes, nothing to gain from it, I held onto a lifestyle of failure, because I had failed them all. Like a lonely whisper in the wind, I couldn't go on being who I am, like jekyll and Hyde, I changed, ask yourselves, who am I at night? Am I a broken man or something else.

We saw each other across the no man's land, gun in hand, anger in our eyes, I did my best, but it wasn't enough to save them from you, will I always fight a losing battle in this war? Will you remind me of my failure? I tried so hard to care for you, but in the end, you made the fatal error of bragging about what you did, anger overflowing, I had enough, my last effort would be your downfall.

Our war escalated and we pulled everyone in to our war, how I wish I could have seen it coming, but I could never have predicted that by opposing you, I had given up on my humanity and made myself worse than you. Where did I find myself? I saw myself standing on a field, blackened eyes and a knife in my hand, an arrow in your shoulder, fear in your eyes and blood pouring everywhere, I knew it then, your fatal error of looking at me with arrogant eyes had bought you a ticket to hell.

How you smile now, knowing I have to live with my own past, never being able to tell my story, or so you think, will I always fight an endless war with you or will I move on? I never was a hero, but I could never be the villain either, I lost my humanity for the right cause, I would do it again if I could, because opposing you is what was required of me. My only path forward was a cursed one, my corrupted heart was all that was beating when I lost my final line of defence.

I am not perfect, I never meant for this to happen, I brought an end to the one that changed who I used to be, he is leaving now, I can feel myself change on the spot, to go back to being Hyde, in a manner of speaking, never cared to be perfect, I just wanted you to fall and me to win no matter the cost, the reason for this was you.

Remember when you began to wake up, the fear you felt, the friendship was dying down, I held the key and lost it, the end came swiftly, your puppets fell down, you walked into my trap, you thought you knew me, you wouldn't make that mistake twice, because you wouldn't get your second chance to learn who I am, in the night, I come out, you were used to me being crazy, but this caught you unaware and I had become infected with dark thoughts, so I took what I wanted and left the rest.

We all went to hell, we had no choices, but I wore the sins better than you did, I never cared enough for your suffering, we had become rotten and evil, you didn't think about it and continued on your path, now after life kicked me down, I became stronger than you and I shattered your mind when you made your threat towards me... We all would die painfully

What is a name?

Questions always find their way into the minds of people, imagine a thought that you can't get out of your head, who are you to everyone else? Or who are you to yourself? 

What defines what a correct thought on the subject is?

If each mind is a country in its own right, then your thoughts could be the population, now imagine that every time you are angry at someone, your mind is ready to go to war with the other mind.

So, who are you? 

Can a name be you or just a way of describing yourself?

If there's a proper way to think on the idea, then what if your name one day doesn't suit you? As if something has gone wrong.

Your thoughts, distorted, talking over each other in an attempt to find where the error has come from. 

Do you change who you are based on what people call you? 

When they throw words at you?

Your name is being dragged through the dirt and you lose the ability to think straight. 

Is your name, a title? 

No. It's a way to identify you in society?

It's something someone gives you so that you aren't just a number.

Imagine if we were all called by numbers?

Hello One?

What people call you can be your choice. Some of us have more than one name, some of us adapt those names into a way of life, a personality. 

We need to have identities, no one wants to be nothing. 

We can be broken by the world. 

We can go insane because of a single thought.

I...

As an example.

Have many names.

I treat most of them as titles.

Things that people call me.

I've taken most of the negative ones and turned

them into something I wear with pride.

I've been called a freak.

A psycho.

An anomaly.

And many more.

Each of them.

I wear with pride.

I got these from being different.

There was a time when I sealed up my thoughts.

Felt the need to be dumber than I am.

Because that would be easier.

My name is my title.

I choose it myself.

That's why we get the choice to change it.

What if a mind turns on itself?

Imagine a country in a civil war.

There's a high chance that you think that I'm insane

after reading this. 

If that is what happens, I gladly accept the insanity.

Sticks and stones might break my bones.

But remember, if your mind is broken by words?

Then it's just a sign that your stability is lower

than it should be. 

We are all our own kind of person.

We have our own identities.

We have things that make us smile and things

that makes us frown.

If we are happy, we can ignore that at some point, we felt bad.

But, if we are unlucky, our mind shatters because of the worlds pressure. 

The country now has warring states.

What am I talking about? 

Well, if our minds are nations and our

names are their identifications.

What happens when we have multiple 

names that we feel like belong to us, but yet, it's not ''us''.

One, can become two.

Two becomes Four.

Four becomes Eight.

It can continue on.

Mainly because we've lost our ability to stay calm and think.

Never let anyone else rule your mind. 

Because if you lose the ability of being who you are.

Then, having a name, surely is pointless.... 

What would you do, if you one day, 

Had it all taken away from you.

Clever lies and empty threats, that is how you got along, avoiding responsibility was what you would do, but you did not see me coming around for another pass. You called me weak, you called me a freak, clearly you would know, I am the anomaly they never could see, but your view of me must have been distorted when I came back, I see it in your eyes, your lies will not save you this time. I took the blame, I watched you move through it all, smiling as my sanity went down, no light would reach me, I was all alone..

Yet, one second was all I needed to get back up again, your army is gone, there's no one left to believe you or to come to your rescue, it's all over. You hated me with good reason, because you see, everything you did to me, I did better towards you, attrition was my game and you fell into the trap and it was all I needed to get back to full power. What have we done? What did they create? All those mind games and this is what it led to? My victory was assured and like the quote would go... Ad Victoriam.